Archive for the 'Movies' Category

01
Jun
10

Relive the Video Store Days with The Monkees “Porpoise Song”

Shortly after graduating college, I had the pleasure of managing an independent record store.  It was one of the best jobs I ever had.  It was there that I learned how to use a video monitor to set a mood for a room.  The theory was that the right video can add just as much flavor as the posters on the walls, the music coming out of the sound system, and the records in the rack.  After a couple of years, I had to leave the record store.  While it was a great job, it didn’t pay.  Surprisingly enough, the new video store down the street did pay…at least more than the record store.  Yeah, I took the money, but I took comfort in thinking that it wasn’t going to be much different.  I rationalized that discussing good movies was the same as discussing good music.  Sadly, I found out, rather quickly, that like the BMV, everybody goes to the video store.  See, at the record store, I had a specific demographic of kids from 15 to 26 with an occasional rock and roll holdover from the 60′s who would share tales of getting high with the MC5, turning me on to bands like the Stooges.  The video store had no such demographic filter.  To make matters worse, the general public has no taste.  I would do my very best to promote good films only to have those people return them, telling me how much the movie blew, and why I sucked for liking such crap.

Yes, managing a video store was my professional low point.  To make it tolerable, I would try to inject a little flavor by playing some off-beat videos during my shift, like an old WrestleMania or the Thunderbirds.  Anything other than whatever typical video store movie the rest of the staff played.  One of the movies I would love to play was the Monkees “Head.”  It’s just so fucked up.  It’s like they got a mountain of drugs, called Jack Nicholson to direct, and made this scattered, stream of consciousness, trippy mess.  What was most fun for me was that regular folks would be in the store, shopping, not paying attention, but they’d hear a Monkees song, think it was an episode, and it would change, and Mike Nesmith would throw a tantrum, and they’d think to themselves, “I never saw this episode.”  They’d come to the counter with their videos and say, “What in Gods name are you watching?”  Success!

In honor of this “I’m going to fuck with you now, typical video store patron” memory, I give you The Monkees, with one of their more psychedelic songs, “Porpoise Song.”

In fairness, I should mention that there were those moments where I would receive compliments on such a video.  While those moments certainly felt better, they were extremely rare.

01
Dec
09

Monster uhh … err … Tuesday brings you a collection of bug movies

These will make you think twice about squashing those little bugs you see crawling around.  Enjoy and remember it’s just a movie, it’s just a movie, it’s only just a movie.

28
Nov
09

Man somebody was talking bad about these guys momma.

Shaolin Raiders of Death gives you plenty of reasons not to talk bad about someones momma.  These two cats lay the whup down on the white haired dude.  I assume he’s the bad guy.

23
Nov
09

Monster Monday scares you with “Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster”

It doesn’t get any more real than this!  I think at the 1:02 mark you can see a long lost relative of Mike Myers (he’s the one sitting down with the ears).  Great trailer and I’m sure a great movie.

23
Nov
09

The cure for your team’s Quarterback needs!

Hey Bears don’t think I won’t bag on you also.  Take a shot at Uncle Rico.  I don’t have his stats from back in ’82, but I’m sure they were pretty sweet!  Sorry about the video quality.

21
Nov
09

Kung Fu Korner hits you with “The Five Deadly Venoms”

Yeah, the Shaw Brothers were at it again with this masterpiece!  There’s a certain someone out ther who used to own this movie.  Is that still true?  I sure hope so, because I’d like to see it again.  Enjoy this trailer and then search your own copy out.

20
Nov
09

It sure beats when Chewbacca was smoking meth!

C’mon R2, You know that wasn’t very smart.  Maybe it takes the edge off of listening to C3Po drone on and on and on … (Special thanks to Goose for this one!)

17
Nov
09

Kung Fu Korner has “Brave Archers 3″

Watch the creepy Chinese Leprechaun come and give the good guys some advice.  Great action, super moves, great blood spitting!  Enjoy!

17
Nov
09

Monster Monday gives you “Yongary” on a Tuesday

I know you think this must be Godzilla’s half-brother or maybe at least an angry next door neighbor bu it isn’t.  Check out the jeep driving around the monsters feet.  They just don’t make films like this in South Korea anymore.  Bummer!

13
Nov
09

Open Letter to The Raker – Yes, I Found Starcrash

Dear Mr. The Raker,

Remember back in college when we found this movie? I remember Shawn Malayter’s folks coming over when we were watching it. I’m confident that A) Shawn was embarrassed and B) Shawn’s folks feared for their son’s safety. Wait, were you even there? I was so bombed I can’t remember. I’m pretty sure we watched this at some point, but I can’t remember if you were at this particular event. I assume you were because I can’t imagine watching this alone. Anyway, I forgot what this movie was called…until today. For today is the day I rediscovered “Starcrash”! As such, I figure I would share this discovery with the person I think I originally suffered with…you.

Best,
Andrew T.




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